Tuesday, July 21, 2015

The MOH asking

I'm still emotionally and academically processing DENSI 2015, so I will start with something easier to write about: my weekend with my best friend and maid of honor (MOH).

DENSI ended Friday at lunch time and her flight got into Reagan at 2:30 (which became almost four pm...thank you state of Connecticut for that one).  Since it's totally normal to chill at the airport with luggage, I met her at the gate, sign in hand.  

Unfortunately, there were no nice people who would take a picture to capture the moment, but that's okay.  I met her at the gate and showed her both sides of the sign.  It took her a minute to process before she responded with an enthusiastic NO.

Correct, a NO. 

I just looked at her and she laughed, then said of course she'd do it.  Hugs ensued. We made our way back to our airbnb (which was adorably first ladies themed) and unpacked.  She got us wedding planning guides (I love lists) as a silly engagement present.  B's is basically about not losing his mind during the ordeal.

 We then headed to a Top Chef restaurant (on her bucket list) and then to a ghost themed tour of the Capitol Building, Supreme Court, and surrounding blocks.  Spoiler alert...we captured absolutely no ghost activity on our phones and I earned some ridiculously large blisters from wearing the wrong shoes for our adventure.

I expressed my concern at becoming a bridezilla and asked her to keep me accountable.  There are many other exciting things in my life (and hers) that aren't related to this one wedding weekend.  

We did more planning the next night, over a bottle of wine on the rooftop of our apartment building.  

Things we decided: (and things I should probably fill B in on...)

1) I'll get a sitter for the reception.  There will be kids at the reception and parents will want a place to park them.  Perhaps a separate room at the reception hall, complete with video games, puzzles, coloring books, and board games.  This way parents can have fun, together, instead of one sitting out with the munchkins.  Since our officiant has worked with a nanny company on the Las Vegas strip, it shouldn't be too hard to get a recommendation from her.  We'll also include this information on our wedding website, which I'm in the process of making.

2) We talked about things that will be on the wedding registry.  She mentioned a friend had included some funny line about "the jig is up!" and how they'd been living together for a while, so they didn't need a lot of home goods.  I think I'll incorporate something like that into our wedding website.  We own two vacuums.  Our Keurig works great and we bought a Kitchen-aid mixer when it was on sale.  We're grown ups and for the most part, have our lives together.  So we'll be registering for some various household things and honeymoon experiences.  B is really wanting to register for a kegerator (a fridge that has a keg inside) so I must find a way to redirect his energy...because I fear all his friends will actually chip in for one and it will live in our garage.

3) Activity for the bridal shower.  It will take some work from the participants ahead of time, but she's going to ask each lady to bring a wedding picture of a couple they admire.  It could be themselves, grandparents, relatives, etc.  They'll also bring a piece of advice for a long and happy marriage.  We haven't decided if we'll incorporate this into table decorations at the reception or just make it into a scrapbook.

4) There will be mimosas at the wedding shower.  I respect people's decision to not drink, but I do like drinking, so it will be included in wedding events.  There will be classy mimosas in champagne flutes, not keg stands and PBR in red solo cups.  

5) The timeline.  The wedding will be at least a year away and I plan to start dress shopping around Christmas time, so hopefully she can pop up and join for that!  

6) Her parents.  Basically, my second set of parents and they're invited to basically every aspect of wedding weekend.  I'd love for her mom to join us in the bridal suite for the primping.  She can join my mom in the crying portion of the day while they comment on how beautiful their babies look (because obviously we will be gorgeous).  I invited her dad to give a speech, which he's already planning and I think that's adorable.  They just wanted to make sure it was okay with me and B (and my mom) if they were there for things.  

7) I want to do a sleepover with her the night before the wedding in the bridal suite.  We will also be taking jumping on the bed pictures before the real wedding prep begins:

 (image from pinterest)

I looked through several wedding magazines over yesterday's epic day of travel (DC to Houston to Vegas, with four hours of layovers).  I got a few more cute ideas, but was overwhelmed by much of it.  One of the "simple, backyard weddings" was $181,000.  They "splurged a bit" on things, but spent no money on the venue.

Are you freaking kidding me?! That's close to the cost of our house.

So then I got frustrated by these "norms" because yes, my wedding will be expensive, but no, we won't be going into ridiculous debt to pay for it.  Looming wedding payments are not how I want to start a lifetime together.

I haven't finalized my decision on bridesmaids yet and I'm hoping my mom can come up for Labor Day so we can have an engagement party.  

Alas, the wedding planning must be put on hold for more practical matters of the day: cleaning, laundry, and processing DENSI.

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