A year ago, I was boarding a plane to represent Nevada at an international teaching convention in Washington DC. Full of excitement and an open mind, I was ready to learn from the best and build up my professional learning network. I was ready for some tribe time. I was ready for {DENSI}. I had an amazing week and started the school year so energized and ready to try new technology tools with my students. But...life happened. Student behaviors made it very, very difficult to be the teacher that I wanted to be.
Later on this week, a hundred or so educators from across the United States, Canada, and the UK will be descending upon Chicago for Discovery Education Network's annual summer institute (DENSI).
With a heavy heart, I will not be joining. I applied, but was wait listed.
This has been a hard pill to swallow and one I've been grappling with for months. I've started and stopped this blog post a half dozen times, but writing is therapeutic and keeping it to myself doesn't do any good. The timing of the waitlistednews came within days of learning that I would not be earning a raise for completing my masters +32 coursework (but more on that debacle later).
My grade level and administration was incredibly supportive at helping me deal with this news in the form of hugs, texts, and treats. One of the coordinators and my favorite people at Discovery called and emailed to let me know she was proud of the work I'd done and make sure I knew I was still cared for. It was a tough decision for Discovery. I'm sure they had hundreds (if not thousands) of applications and a finite number of spots. I've had the privilege to attend twice. It wasn't my time, as difficult as that is to accept.
I guess professionally I needed an ego adjustment. I (wrongly) assumed that because I'd been twice and was hosting the ambassador program for the district, I was a shoe-in. I filmed my application video once and even though I made a mistake in it, I corrected myself mid-video and kept going. I didn't take it as seriously as I should have.
If I'm being super honest (and reflective), I didn't try a lot of new technology things this year. We did a kahoot session to review for a test, skyped a few times to other states, and did a virtual field trip. I struggled with classroom management due to a variety of issues (mainly student thieves) and I let my frustrations get the better of me. I didn't try new things with my class because I couldn't trust them not to harm the materials or each other. I learned lots of amazing things at DENSI 2015, but I kept them to myself. That's not how collaboration should work. That's not the mindset I want to have as a teacher.
I've spent a lot of time this summer reflecting on last year (because it was a tough year) and changes I want to make for next year.
I will not be teaching inclusion next year. I will not have the pleasure of working with our wonderful new sped teacher Mrs. H, but I've come to terms with it. I wasn't explicitly told I wasn't inclusion, but heard through the grape vine that they thought I needed a break. The other inclusion teacher is also getting a break, so that made it feel less personal. I had to shift my mindset from "I failed and they don't trust me with the inclusion students" to "they realize it's hard dealing with behavior plans, IEPs, and difficult parents, so let's give them a break".
I'll be teaching to my strengths next year. I'll still be co-teaching, but this time with the GATE teacher. I'll have more of the "outside of the box" thinkers, and since that's how my brain is wired, I think there's a lot of potential for some awesome enrichment activities. I've already got some thematic units in the work with a colleague, so it's nice to add some fun and excitement back into the classroom (which, truly, is the spirit of the DEN).
I am genuinely excited for my friends that get to spend the next week in Chicago. I am glad that there are a bunch of newbies that get to experience the magic that is DENSI. But I wish I was there.
Financially, it wouldn't have been a good time to go. I have vet appointments for the cats and medical appointments next week to keep me busy. I'll be limiting my social media time to keep my jealousy in check. Luckily they archive everything so when I'm ready, I can learn digitally and virtually.
For those of you at DENSI 2016, enjoy! Maximize your learning time. Take notes and don't feel like you have implement everything right away. Your brain will hurt.
Last weekend I had my first make up party for {Younique} and it went okay. However, having the ridiculously overactive, hyper reflective brain that I do, I wanted to debrief with someone.
So I asked my friend (and fellow Y-sister) Amy to meet me at Starbucks. I hadn't seen her in a few days, she lives super close, and I had to return a few things that I'd borrowed. Besides, Starbucks makes my heart happy.
It was a really good catch up/bonding/goal setting session.
I've got some new ideas I'm excited to try and even more important, I have a fellow big dreaming, goal digger friend who lets me visualize where I want to be this time next year. Amy and I both teach (which is a full time job in itself) and have multiple other businesses to build the lives we want.
Last evening, I had the distinct pleasure of attending another DEN event. I wasn't quite a presenter, but I wasn't quite a regular newbie either. It was interesting to observe the DEN event from the perspective of a future presenter. Read more on the DEN {here}. I brought two teachers with me and there were a few dozen educators present. We did some SOS ideas (Spotlight on Strategies) and watched the DEN video. It's strange to see some of my friends in the video...definitely a fangirl moment! There was lots of positive energy and that's my favorite part of the DEN. Educators are sharing their ideas with one another and celebrating classroom successes. They are open to new things and sharing their ideas with each other. Being in the presence of the DEN is such a rejuvenating, energizing experience. I already have a few other teachers ready to join our next session (Oct 22). In a district that is so bogged down by frustrations (seriously, a second insurance hike? A mandatory Saturday session on insurance or they'll drop all dependents? Not okay), it's nice to shake off the negativity and embrace the good things about teaching. I have a great job. I have great students. Some are more challenging than others, but I've truly got the best job in the world. Being around other teachers that feel the same way is such a fulfilling experience. It's a shame that my passion and excitement upon leaving DEN events is such a stark contrast to how I feel about a majority of the other professional development situations. When was the last time you felt passionate and excited about your career?
Day 21: Favorite Quote As a teacher, I often look for inspirational quotes when I'm having one of those days. Those days, when the technology doesn't work, there are impromptu meetings, I've got several parent phone calls to return, and my munchkins are being more lively, non-compliant versions of themselves. Those days do tend to coincide with full moons, long weekends, or worse, both. It's hard to pick a favorite quote. I'm really, really blessed to be part of the DEN where one of our lovely members posts a daily inspirational tweet. Most of the time, it's related to teaching, but it's always a nice reminder of why I'm working so hard. These quotes are unofficially the quotes of the DEN, so I will share 'em proudly:
My tribe. That's one of the things I'm falling more in love with. I have the privilege to work along side some amazing educators at my school, whom I both respect and enjoy spending time with. (These two categories are not mutually exclusive in some cases.) However, at the end of the day, no one will stay there forever. Families will move, new homes will be purchased. I'm privileged to know I have such a great support system that extends beyond the walls of my school. Heck, it's beyond the boundaries of my state. Some days, I really, really need that DEN love. Not related to teaching, but related to life in general:
In a post-breakup, angry, early twenties stage, I read a lot of self-help books. I had quite a lot of anger that I needed to learn to deal with in a healthy way. Then I stumbled upon this quote. This has really resonated with me. A younger, sillier version me, had an unfortunate habit of dulling myself down when with a boyfriend. Not all past boyfriends, but enough that it became a habit. I was so uncomfortable "outshining" my partner that I'd always take a backseat to his successes. That wasn't fair to either of us and was a definite red flag that those were not the relationships for me. A few years ago, I decided to have "shine" tattooed on my wrist as a reminder of this quote and its message. It's a subtle tattoo, done in a dark red color that blends well with my freckles and complexion. It's in my own handwriting and is meant, 1000% for me. (On a side note, my fiance B has never done anything but encourage me to pursue my dreams and shine. #keeperstatus ) What words have made an impact on you? Join the conversation and link up for the blogtember challenge!
I was talking with another member of my DEN tribe about his first day of teaching fifth grade. Mr. C, you'll be great! Don't sweat it!
I started thinking about what my goals are for day one and I realized they're quite simple.
My goal for day 1 is all about my students and their feelings. I want them to leave room 71 feeling excited, supported, cared for, and enthusiastic about fifth grade. I want them to feel challenged by our first day word problems (yes, first day of school means word problems). I want them to be ready to come back and try their best again tomorrow.
The learning will come. The notebook set up will come. The team builders are imbedded throughout our day. But I only have one chance to make a first impression and i want them to feel good about fifth grade.
My last few days of summer are here and honestly, I'm quite okay with it. I had an amazing summer and will return to work feeling refreshed and energized for the year ahead. I've got some great new ideas for things to try in my classroom, courtesy of my DEN tribe. I go back to my classroom on Wednesday and my bags are already packed!
I'm spending today doing various adult things (laundry, dishes, Costco) but breaking it up with fun activities (20% off my whole purchase at Joann's?! Yes please!) and girl time (Starbucks date with one of the nicest people at my work).
Tomorrow will be a day devoted to Netflix and finishing a book I started (Al Capone does my homework).
I've read the first two and created TpT guides for them, so this is my next task. The narrator is a young boy (Moose) whose father is a guard (now associate Warden) on Alcatraz Island in the 1930's. The book follows his interactions with other children, including his older autistic sister Natalie, and famous (infamous?) inmates. I use this to illustrate the importance of setting with my students.
I also finished this:
In high school, I loved Sloppy Firsts (and the four sequels that followed). As cliche as it sounds, I grew up with this character (Jessica Darling) and her adventures.
I was really excited when I found a preteen prequel (and really, really excited when it was only $5 thanks to Scholastic's book flyers). However, I was hesitant to put it in my classroom library because of the possible content.
I vividly remember loaning Sloppy Firsts to a friend, only to have it returned several days later with a scathing note from the girl's mother inside about the profanity and filth of the novel. The first book is a sixteen year old's diary where she deals with the frustrations of high school, seemingly unfair parents, and the struggles of being yourself while trying to fit in. I'd be fine if high schoolers read the novel, but not my ten year old munchkins. They're already in a hurry to grow up too fast, so they don't need to read about the sagas of high school.
However, the It List focuses on Jessica's adjustment to middle school. In this story, middle school starts in seventh grade, but our district has middle school in sixth. There's not much of an age gap between my students and the ones in this book, but I decided to read it first just to make sure it'd be fine to place in my library.
It will be. The main character deals with jealousy issues with her best friend (she got her braces off!), trying out for the cheerleading team, dealing with new friends, and trying to figure out a mysterious boy in wood shop. (Spoiler, it's Marcus.)
It was a quick read and apparently there's a sequel. It comes in at a 5.3 reading level and 7 AR points, so it's a good fit for my fifth graders.
I love that they understand the great loves of my life.
Especially my love of Shark Week.
In sixth grade in ELP (extended learning program, Arizona's version of GATE/TAGS), we did an entire year on oceans. My research project was on Megalodon. We dissected a shark and yes, I took part of it home. My mom wasn't pleased when she found it in my room several weeks later. (Sorry mom!)
I did discover that I'm not a fan of cold water diving...or sand, which put a damper on my dreams of being a marine biologist. I obviously took another career path and couldn't be more pleased with my choice to become a teacher. (Okay, there are moments of doubt but they usually coincide with ridiculous amounts of grading or difficult situations.) That being said, I love Shark Week. I understand the critiques that it contributes to fear mongering and appreciate that Discovery has taken that into consideration with recent programming choices. I rocked some shark week nails for most of July.
I tweeted, frequently, about wanting a Shark Week chum bucket while at DENSI. So when not one, but three people sent me messages about this blanket within an hour, I couldn't feel more loved:
Thank you tribe for knowing the way to my heart. The answer is yes, this is an amazing blanket that I would love to own.
After much reflection (and reading others' blogs), here are some of my take-aways from DENSI 2015:
1) People matter. One of my favorite things about the DEN is that it's truly more than a digitally connected group of educators. It's a family. It's a tribe.
I know that if I'm stuck on a concept or just need a little inspiration (DENspiration) after a tough day, they will be there. One of our tribe members, Lindsay Foster, has a daily twitter image or message to inspire creativity and spread the love. She challenged herself to spread positive vibes and I whole heartily embrace this. In education, it's ridiculously easy to fall into a negative attitude because there's so much that is out of our control. So I'd rather surround myself with happy vibes and that love for teaching was overwhelmingly evident at DENSI.
I can reach out on Edmodo, twitter, facebook, or texting when I need advice from my tribe. This doesn't mean my work family isn't amazing (because they are) but sometimes it's nice to get other perspectives. My tribe offers that. From the first moment I walked on campus, I started to recognize people from DENSI 2013 or from the facebook group. Everyone is welcoming, everyone is positive, everyone genuinely operates with the mindset that everyone should be successful.
I met people that recognized me from my TpT store picture and had previously purchased products, which was a surreal experience. We ended up discovering this over the less-than-appetizing cafeteria breakfasts. The friend requests are still coming in and my PLN (professional learning network) is ever-expanding. It's nice to know I've got people in my corner.
2) Work-Life Balance. If there's one thing to know about DENSI events, it's the importance of #napchat. Nap chats fit perfectly with my love of naps. Sleep is valued. Taking care of yourself is encouraged.
DENSI focused on putting fun and joy back into the classroom. Our jobs matter. But home life and social life matters too. There was time for learning at DENSI, but there was also lots of time for connecting to others. I don't think Kate and I got to bed before midnight any day of the week because we were up chatting with others...oops! Again, people matter. Last night, while B had softball, I went over to a friend's for dinner. Several of my pals inquired as to where he was, which was appreciated. He was not only missed by me, but my friends as well. I ended up staying for many hours after because I was having such rich, meaningful conversations with others. The evening did include Cards against Humanity, at which point those meaningful conversations fizzled into ridiculously inappropriate ones. This year, one of my personal goals is to be better at the work-life balance. I've already shared with two of my lovely grade level ladies that I need to leave by 4. Most of this is to get home to let Waffles out, but I want to make sure I have my evenings for me. I'll set aside one night to work late from home (whichever night B has class) but I want my nights free for our family time. 3) Leadership matters.
I'm fortunate enough to work for two amazing administrators who aren't afraid to get a little bit silly when leading by example.
Beyond my admin, the leadership of the DEN is awesome. The DEN (Discovery Educator Network) isn't as strong in my district as I'd like, so I'm excited to be in conversations about strengthening it to build community. When educators in my district hear "Discovery Education", they tend to think of the benchmark assessments and the frustration that usually accompanies standardized testing. I'm hoping to help change that conversation. 4) Have fun and be yourself. I'm a creative person. I like having my classroom be a slightly loud, slightly messy, melting pot of learning. I take risks and sometimes lessons flop. That's okay. I learn from them and move on. I have fun in my classroom and that's okay. My classroom is a reflection of me. My classroom is a reflection of my students. My classroom is a reflection of our learning journey. When you're excited about what you're doing, that enthusiasm rubs off on your students. That's a good thing. 5) Share. Often times, we get so wrapped up within the walls of our own classroom that we forget to connect with others. We forget to share the great things that are happening. We don't recognize the greatness in ourselves and feel inadequate when compared to others. This has to stop. There are exciting things happening in classrooms and they need to be shared and celebrated.
We need to share with each other and learn from each other. Part of my hesitation with sharing is that I don't want to feel like I'm doing someone else's work for them. Truth be told, I've worked with some lazy educators over the years. My definition of lazy has shifted because I acknowledge the importance of a work-life balance. I didn't always appreciate that in my early years and would be unfairly critical to others who left on time to see their families. I didn't think they put enough effort into their classrooms, but looking back, that wasn't my place to judge. Luckily, my tribe is filled with hard working educators who want to share their ideas with others.
6) Take the time to laugh. Not everything at DENSI went perfectly. It rained when we saw the monuments. I went eight straight days without soda. I survived on grilled cheese and omelets. There was ridiculous jack hammering during our trainings (not to worry, it was dealt with). Worst of all? The sheets. I had two flat sheets that did not fit the dorm bed. I ended up in a cocoon-like ball each night and just slept on the slippery, rubber mattress. Could I control any of this? No.
So I chose laughter and rolled with it. 7) Don't stop learning. I haven't dived into my pages of notes yet, but I'm so excited to try new things in my classroom. I obviously need to buy a green table cloth to try greenscreening and videos in my classroom. I'm excited to incorporate mystery Skype into our geography lessons. Doodling with note taking will be a new adventure this year. If I expect my students to be life-long learners, I should model that myself. Thank you, DENSI and my tribe, for helping me feel excited about this upcoming year.
