DENSI 2016

A year ago, I was boarding a plane to represent Nevada at an international teaching convention in Washington DC.  Full of excitement and an open mind, I was ready to learn from the best and build up my professional learning network. I was ready for some tribe time.  I was ready for {DENSI}.  I had an amazing week and started the school year so energized and ready to try new technology tools with my students.  But...life happened.  Student behaviors made it very, very difficult to be the teacher that I wanted to be.
 

Later on this week, a hundred or so educators from across the United States, Canada, and the UK will be descending upon Chicago for Discovery Education Network's annual summer institute (DENSI).  

With a heavy heart, I will not be joining. I applied, but was wait listed.  

This has been a hard pill to swallow and one I've been grappling with for months.  I've started and stopped this blog post a half dozen times, but writing is therapeutic and keeping it to myself doesn't do any good.  The timing of the waitlisted news came within days of learning that I would not be earning a raise for completing my masters +32 coursework (but more on that debacle later). 

My grade level and administration was incredibly supportive at helping me deal with this news in the form of hugs, texts, and treats.  One of the coordinators and my favorite people at Discovery called and emailed to let me know she was proud of the work I'd done and make sure I knew I was still cared for.  It was a tough decision for Discovery. I'm sure they had hundreds (if not thousands) of applications and a finite number of spots.  I've had the privilege to attend twice.  It wasn't my time, as difficult as that is to accept.

I guess professionally I needed an ego adjustment.  I (wrongly) assumed that because I'd been twice and was hosting the ambassador program for the district, I was a shoe-in.  I filmed my application video once and even though I made a mistake in it, I corrected myself mid-video and kept going. I didn't take it as seriously as I should have.    

If I'm being super honest (and reflective), I didn't try a lot of new technology things this year.  We did a kahoot session to review for a test, skyped a few times to other states, and did a virtual field trip.  I struggled with classroom management due to a variety of issues (mainly student thieves) and I let my frustrations get the better of me.  I didn't try new things with my class because I couldn't trust them not to harm the materials or each other.  I learned lots of amazing things at DENSI 2015, but I kept them to myself.  That's not how collaboration should work.  That's not the mindset I want to have as a teacher.

I've spent a lot of time this summer reflecting on last year (because it was a tough year) and changes I want to make for next year.

I will not be teaching inclusion next year.  I will not have the pleasure of working with our wonderful new sped teacher Mrs. H, but I've come to terms with it.  I wasn't explicitly told I wasn't inclusion, but heard through the grape vine that they thought I needed a break.  The other inclusion teacher is also getting a break, so that made it feel less personal.  I had to shift my mindset from "I failed and they don't trust me with the inclusion students" to "they realize it's hard dealing with behavior plans, IEPs, and difficult parents, so let's give them a break". 

I'll be teaching to my strengths next year.  I'll still be co-teaching, but this time with the GATE teacher.  I'll have more of the "outside of the box" thinkers, and since that's how my brain is wired, I think there's a lot of potential for some awesome enrichment activities.  I've already got some thematic units in the work with a colleague, so it's nice to add some fun and excitement back into the classroom (which, truly, is the spirit of the DEN).

I am genuinely excited for my friends that get to spend the next week in Chicago.  I am glad that there are a bunch of newbies that get to experience the magic that is DENSI.  But I wish I was there.

Financially, it wouldn't have been a good time to go. I have vet appointments for the cats and medical appointments next week to keep me busy. I'll be limiting my social media time to keep my jealousy in check.  Luckily they archive everything so when I'm ready, I can learn digitally and virtually. 

For those of you at DENSI 2016, enjoy! Maximize your learning time. Take notes and don't feel like you have implement everything right away.  Your brain will hurt. 

Learn lots for me! 

Hopefully DENSI 2017 is in the cards!   

Professional Reads

I stumbled upon both of these articles recently and was overwhelmed with emotion while reading them.

1. Dear Teacher

Last year, I had some difficult students, but I also had THE ONE.  

The one who was placed in my room after being kicked out of another fifth grade class.  the one who was known by every adult in the building and at the neighboring schools.  The one who would run the streets at night with a much older crowd.  The one who had picked up "street smart" coping skills to deal with a deteriorating home environment.  The one who came to school for stability and to be cared for.  The one who tested my patience on a daily basis.  The one who I struggled to reach while still trying to teach the other twenty nine students.  The one whose behavior meant the office was on call all day long.  The one who had so many unfair life circumstances and didn't know how to appropriately cope with challenges.  The one who so desperately wanted adult attention, but was uncomfortable when it was publicly given for a positive reason.  Yup, that one.

I feel like this article was written about my one student.

I cried while reading it. 

I wish I found it months ago.  

It helped me shift my feelings of frustration and irritation with the one to feelings of patience and compassion.  I am not the enemy and the one is lashing out because those are the social behaviors that are modeled outside of school.  I am the rock, I am the lighthouse for the one.  I am there to be a guiding, calming, supportive presence...even when I'm being called names.  When dealing with the one, it's hard not to take things personally.  

I'll be printing this article off and putting it in my binder.  Not the teacher binder of lesson plans and schedules, but the secret binder.  The binder with notes from parents and inspirational quotes for when nothing is going right.  This has earned its place of honor in the binder of warm and fuzzy feelings, which is my best weapon against negativity.

The second reading wasn't an article, but a picture:

Succinct and powerful.  Another addition to the binder.  

Going into my seventh year, I've got a big job to do.  I have thirty(ish?) young people to care for, to inspire, to teach, to help grow, to educate, and to love.

Good thing I know I'm not alone.

 

Irritations

I'm fresh out of my first staff development day of the year and well, I'm annoyed.

I'm in no way frustrated with my grade level, because they're great.  I'm in no way annoyed with my administration or a majority of the other teachers at my school, because they're amazingly supportive.

I'm annoyed with teachers from other schools.  

I'm new to my school and the WIPR model, but I'm in no way new to teaching.  This is year six, which puts me in that veteran teacher category.  However, I don't look my age.  Perhaps it's not having kids, perhaps it's because I try to get enough sleep each night and eat my veggies.  Perhaps it's just good genes (thanks mom!).  I have to put a conscious effort into my appearance to look like a teacher.  Today it was our school shirt, a knee length denim skirt, and flats...standard teacher attire. 

We had a long afternoon session with unwrapping the standards.  I've been doing this for years now, so it's a tad frustrating to go through the process yet again.  However, I understand not everyone has the hundreds of hours of professional development that I do, so I let that go.  We were working as a grade level (both my school and other schools in my district) and sharing ideas for one standard.  Some of the other teachers were very vocal about their lesson plan ideas, which didn't align to our standards.  If I'm teaching informational text, I'm going to try to double dip and incorporate social studies content as well.  It just makes sense to merge content areas to provide a more authentic learning opportunity.  I'm not doing an entire unit on Nevada history (a fourth grade standard) or dinosaurs. (Yes, dinosaurs.  That's what this other teacher was obsessed with.  Every lesson plan idea related back to dinosaurs...for fifth grade.)

I love professional development opportunities where I get to talk with other teachers about instruction.  I like hearing their ideas and learning from others.  Thus, I was really excited about this afternoon...but left severely disappointed.

However, my ideas were not heard.  I shared several strategies that I've used, with great success, but none of them made it to the poster.  My ideas weren't even considered because I'm the youngest one in the room.  I was interrupted and shot down, numerous times.  Ageism is a rather frustrating occurrence in teaching and it reared its ugly head today.  I had a nice conversation with the other teacher from my grade level.  She is on board with actually teaching the standards.  

I'm just frustrated that this afternoon was not productive.  I'm frustrated that I was shut down because of the way I look.  I'm irritated my ideas, which have been proven effective in the classroom, were disregarded but an older gentleman's ideas were put on the chart, even though he's never taught fifth grade.  What happened to being open minded and hearing all ideas?

Year Six, Day 2

Day Two

With no duty to be had and the kinks from yesterday all worked out, the morning ran much smoother.

We started our day with this meme:

Before I showed them the wordle from their first day feelings exit tickets:

I was pleased many of them wrote in complete sentences.  My favorite may have been the child that just wrote "I'm satisfied."  I still have a few that are nervous, but that's to be expected. 

We went over more classroom procedures, did our number talk (which lead to some awesome discourse about making sense of problems!), made our class norms with a gallery walk, and did another read aloud:

This mentor text focuses on life skills and provides strategies on not erupting (interrupting).  Again, most of them had never heard this book so I'm on a roll!

Can't wait to read this gem on day 3!

I did make my first student cry.  Yes, we made it through a day and a half of fifth grade before there were tears.

He had his phone out and in his words, was just looking at the time.  Since his back was to the wall, I chose to believe him.  We had a conversation in the hallway because it's not a conversation for the whole class.  He apologized, we talked through strategies (look at the clock, keep phone in backpack), and I moved him seats so he would face the clock.  I gave him his phone back at the end of the day, but there were still tears. 

I guess the honeymoon is over?

Day three is a weird day.  We'll tackle second prep and our first assembly.  Fingers crossed!

Last Days

One week in to summer break, I can take a breath and relax.

The last few days of school were an emotional whirlwind. This school year has been the most difficult of my teaching career for a variety of reasons. I asked my students to be reflective in end of year letters to me and well, the results were heart wrenching. Many wrote about how they felt I was mean and yelled. They however didn't acknowledge their own poor behavior choices, but I guess that comes with maturity.

We watched Frozen, signed yearbooks, and did a circle of sharing where we talked about our favorite memories. I passed back letters from their first days and notes from their parents.  I gave them their wordles and allowed plenty of sharing time for their paper slide videos (end of year novel projects).  We had counselor lessons on adjusting to middle school and they had time to practice opening combination locks.  Right before the awards assembly I read Oh the Places You'll Go and shared with them how privileged I was to be their teacher.

(I wasn't the only one in tears after reading this book)

With the help of my grade level, we created a PowerPoint slide show to share with their families at the awards assembly and moving up ceremony. We tracked down their kindergarten yearbook pictures to include in the presentation which was a tear-jerking touch.   After their ceremony, we lead the fifth graders outside where the rest of the school was waiting to clap them out. It was an emotional day for the fifth graders and their families.

The next day (last Thursday) was our final contracted day. I was kept 2 hours past my scheduled check out time because I'd left paper in my room. Mind you, this was unopened notebook and copy paper, stacked neatly in a drawer labeled supplies and was left for the incoming teacher.  This what I thought was kind gesture was frowned upon by certain persons and had to be undone before I could leave. So much for trying to be kind! Our rooms were also searched after hours and various supplies were reclaimed when we weren't there to vouch for them. There isn't an educator I know that doesn't purchase supplies (like notebooks, glue sticks, etc) out of pocket, so for these to be snatched back late at night was simply absurd...and another reason that validates my decision to change schools!

So after 5 long years, I bid adieu to room 45. I'm off to start a new adventure. 

Today is my day, I'm off to great places. I'm off and away! 

Staff Development Day

Yesterday, I attended my first staff development not at my current school.  After five years, I was ready to venture out and try a new school.  I'm so excited for this change but was super nervous because I don't know anyone.

I arrived early and got to check out my new classroom.  I will definitely need to find more bookcases, but I like the layout! I will definitely use table teams instead of rows, but that's the only major change I'm making.  

I hope the 12 x 12 ft carpet stays in the reading corner!

We then learned about the NEPF (Nevada Educator's Performance Framework), talked about SBAC (standards based assessment consortium, how we'll be tested next year) and went over expectations.  We had some computer based training on our new grading & attendance system but had plenty of time for a team bonding task and lunch.  I also found time to tour the school, talk with the librarian about Battle of the Books, and found stickers to level my books (since we are an AR school).  Overall, it was a very positive and productive day!

I absolutely loved the energy of my new school.  I felt so welcomed, appreciated, and valued as an educator.  I feel rejuvenated as a teacher and that's such a wonderful feeling!

I also get an entire day to shadow my new grade level tomorrow to see how they operate, which is a pretty awesome opportunity! I love learning from others and these ladies seem full of great ideas!  

Onward and upward!

Thank You

I'm working on appreciating the positives and acknowledging others.  Thank you, blog readers. I know all the page views aren't spam :)  (Feel free to leave comments though!)

Thank you to the nearly 300 customers I had on TpT last year.  It was a very good start and I received a lot of positive feedback, which validates that the hard work I put in for my classroom is beneficial for others.  Why reinvent the wheel? If I've put in the work with my students, why shouldn't other educators gete to use these materials?

Thank you to the almost 60 people who have taken the time to rate my products on TpT and left comments.  I've got a 3.8/4 rating and 9 followers, which I appreciate!

Thank you to those who have shared my blog on pinterest or on TpT :)

Just overall, thanks and high fives/fist bumps to my readers and supporters.

I look forward to a new year of continuing to improve as an educator!

Positive rewards

I've mentioned before that this year (#5) is by far my most challenging one as a teacher.  This group of munchkins is very talkative and while that's wonderful that they're so comfortable sharing their thoughts, it does take away from our learning sometimes.

They're getting better, but we aren't quite there yet :)

I'm trying to focus on the positives

For that, I have 2 strategies:

The first is our "kiss your brain" jar.

We talk a lot about how hard our brains work for us and that we should be appreciative of them.  My students also complain that I make their brains hurt, but that's just part of learning :)

Whenver students are working extra-hard, they can come grab a candy and "kiss their brains".

The second is our warm and fuzzy feelings jar.

Whenever students are kind to one another or extremely helpful, I put a fuzzy in our jar.  When we reach the top, they get to select a reward.  

While positive reinforcement doesn't work all the time, it is sure more rewarding to acknowledge the students who are making appropriate behavior choices that contribute to our learning.  So much of our job is centered around the negative that it's nice to shift to positive shout-outs.

First Day Feelings

One of my favorite web 2.0 tools I took away from my technology endorsement classes at Nevada State college was wordle.

Now wordle may not be new to you and I know there are similar websites or apps that allow you to insert your own pictures or put the words into a shape.  However, I'm a fan of the classic wordle word clouds.

On the first day of school, after students enter the classroom and find their seats, there is a blank note card on their desk.

A simple, lined, nonthreatening note card.

I say good morning to the students, welcome them to the class, make sure everyone found the correct seat and then ask them to put how they are feeling on the note card.  I tell them not to put their names.  They can put one feeling or ten, it's up to them.  Spelling doesn't count, I just want to know how they feel (pulse check if you will).  Then I collect the cards, they throw away their breakfast trash and off we go to specials.

When they're gone, I go to wordle and type in their responses.  

The more times a word is used, the larger it appears in the word cloud.  I usually type into a word document first because you can't  easily edit a wordle once it's made. f students use a phrase, type ~ between words.  Yes, it looks funny but that's the way you keep the phrase together.

For example, I'm so nervous would be typed into wordle as I'm~so~nervous.  No spaces.

 In wordle (wordle.net), you can change all sorts of features.  I tend to play with the font, layout and color to make my wordle match my classroom theme.

After I've typed in their responses, I  then display the wordle, which tends to look something like this:

I display the wordle right after specials and we talk about how all of these first day feelings are okay and perfectly normal.  Students are usually relieved to know that they aren't the ones feeling that particular emotion.

We carry on with our day of procedures and ice breakers.

I come back to the wordle at the end of the day and ask them to reflect on what feelings are still there and which ones have disappeared.  I have them do the same activity on Friday before lunch. We come back to the original wordle and the updated wordle on Friday afternoon, right before dismissal, and discuss how usually nervousness is replaced by excitement.

It's an easy way to not only introduce technology to make a visual representation of the class feelings, but also to show students that they aren't alone.

I've also used wordles to display responses from gallery walk anchor charts.  I go over our norms for gallery walks, then have students share the responses.

I ask them the following questions:

-what do I expect from myself this school year?

-what do I expect from my neighbors?

-what do I expect from my teacher(s)?

-what do I need from my family?

-what does it mean to be a good friend?

-what does it mean to be a good partner?

-what does it mean to be a good reader?

I take the responses and create wordles that are then displayed in the classroom all year.  Students love that they created the norms and I get to make sure all the basics are covered.

Happy first days and first weeks of school!