I just finished grading my students' writing proficiency exams. (Yes, teachers grade these. No, we aren't paid to do so, it's just something that's expected to get done.)
Some of them did a great job with their expository pieces. For their task, they were given two short informational articles to read and respond to. In their responses, they were expected to refer back to the text for evidence and write with a problem and solution text structure. This was their end of year task.
However, upon grading these papers, I became increasingly disappointed. This frustration during grading is one of the hardest things for a teacher. The "I know I taught you this!" runs through my mind quite frequently. There were lots of careless mistakes by many of my students.
One turned in two drafts, basically saying pick which one is better.
One wrote a single paragraph. Not once in the past ten months of school has a single paragraph been a satisfactory answer.
Several turned in work that wasn't complete.
One used no punctuation whatsoever.
One wrote "thank you for reading my paper" while another ended with the dreaded "I hope you like it." Neither of these are appropriate closings. We've addressed both of these big writing no-no's on every single paper we've written. These two clearly didn't listen.
Another decided not to use any paragraphs, another wrote no name, another went completely off topic and the final completely disregarded the audience and wrote as if she was writing to her friends and not a formal piece of academic work.
Not a single one used the sentence stems for quoting accurately from a passage. The sentence stems we went over and have been using all year were completely disregarded.
This is frustrating as a teacher. I feel disappointed in their essays. They rushed and I have to score them lower then I'd like because of their silly mistakes. This is one of the hardest parts of being a teacher.
Showing posts with label disappointment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disappointment. Show all posts
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Choices
It's the end of the year. I'm moving both classrooms and into my first home. The students are becoming increasingly squirrely with each passing day. We have one more field trip and a lot of loose ends to tie up. There is simply too much to do and not enough minutes in the day. It's frustrating that I want to give my students emotional closure on their novels and give them time to finish their books, but I'm at odds with others on this view point. I want to keep teaching as long as possible, but that's not being supported.
Our last day is Wednesday, June 4th. In my mind, that means I can realistically teach up until Friday, May 30th. I can finish novels with students, retest on assessments, and allow them to do some project based learning about their novels. With everything wrapped up by the 30th, that would allow me the weekend to grade their final projects and have scores in by Monday the 2nd. We'd use the last week of school to present our novel projects, sign yearbooks, attend our awards assembly, and reflect upon our learning for the year.
However, this is not what I'm expected to do. Every assessment is supposed to be done, and graded, by the 28th. The 28th is a full week ahead of when report cards go home.
When I expressed how busy the fifth grade has been, my words were shrugged off. In the past few weeks, we've had CRTs (standardized testing), the writing proficiency, field trips, Discovery Education testing, KIC (science inquiry project), Aimsweb end of the year benchmarks and I DRA'd seventy children. Plain and simple, fifth grade had the most work to do. Not complaining, just a statement of fact. We've been quite busy. We were not given assistance like other grade levels because sadly, blatant favoritism exists. I wish it didn't, but the favoritism is running rampant these days and I somehow found myself on the other side. Perhaps it's because I'm leaving schools. Perhaps it's because I speak my mind and stick up for myself. I am not being treated fairly at my work and it's one of the contributing factors for my change in school location. Regardless of how I'm being treated, I'm doing my best to focus on making the best instructional decisions for my students. All my choices are made to best serve the interests of those thirty one rowdy fifth graders whom I teach and adore to the best of my abilities.
I wish there was more understanding. I'm asking for time until the second (which is still days before report cards go home) not because I'm lazy. It's not because I'm being a procrastinator. It's because with everything going on, we didn't want to over test our students. We, as a grade level, felt we would get accurate results by spreading out the assessments (as best we could) and not overwhelm them by testing all day, every day. I'm asking for more time to allow students to finish their novels and give us the chance to meet about the endings. I'm not okay with just taking away their books and saying we ran out of time. That's not fair to my students. I'm not okay with depriving them of an opportunity to share about their novels and reflect on their learning throughout the year. I 'm not okay with skipping the "how we've grown as learners" end of year reflection.
My choice is to keep teaching as long as possible, even if it means I give myself an extra long weekend of grading.
My choice is to provide emotional, literary closure to my students.
My choice is to allow them time to share about their favorite books and engage in conversations about reading.
My choice is, to the best of my ability, wrap up our year together with discussions and reflections to help them grow as readers and learners.
My choice is to provide them time to think, write, collaborate, and discuss how much they've grown this year.
My choice is to allow them to feel accomplished and share their learning with others.
My choices are not approved by certain staff members.
It's disappointing that I'm not supported by fellow educators when I'm trying to make the right choices for my students.
In the end, my students are the reason I'm a teacher. I'm standing by my choices.
Our last day is Wednesday, June 4th. In my mind, that means I can realistically teach up until Friday, May 30th. I can finish novels with students, retest on assessments, and allow them to do some project based learning about their novels. With everything wrapped up by the 30th, that would allow me the weekend to grade their final projects and have scores in by Monday the 2nd. We'd use the last week of school to present our novel projects, sign yearbooks, attend our awards assembly, and reflect upon our learning for the year.
However, this is not what I'm expected to do. Every assessment is supposed to be done, and graded, by the 28th. The 28th is a full week ahead of when report cards go home.
When I expressed how busy the fifth grade has been, my words were shrugged off. In the past few weeks, we've had CRTs (standardized testing), the writing proficiency, field trips, Discovery Education testing, KIC (science inquiry project), Aimsweb end of the year benchmarks and I DRA'd seventy children. Plain and simple, fifth grade had the most work to do. Not complaining, just a statement of fact. We've been quite busy. We were not given assistance like other grade levels because sadly, blatant favoritism exists. I wish it didn't, but the favoritism is running rampant these days and I somehow found myself on the other side. Perhaps it's because I'm leaving schools. Perhaps it's because I speak my mind and stick up for myself. I am not being treated fairly at my work and it's one of the contributing factors for my change in school location. Regardless of how I'm being treated, I'm doing my best to focus on making the best instructional decisions for my students. All my choices are made to best serve the interests of those thirty one rowdy fifth graders whom I teach and adore to the best of my abilities.
I wish there was more understanding. I'm asking for time until the second (which is still days before report cards go home) not because I'm lazy. It's not because I'm being a procrastinator. It's because with everything going on, we didn't want to over test our students. We, as a grade level, felt we would get accurate results by spreading out the assessments (as best we could) and not overwhelm them by testing all day, every day. I'm asking for more time to allow students to finish their novels and give us the chance to meet about the endings. I'm not okay with just taking away their books and saying we ran out of time. That's not fair to my students. I'm not okay with depriving them of an opportunity to share about their novels and reflect on their learning throughout the year. I 'm not okay with skipping the "how we've grown as learners" end of year reflection.
My choice is to keep teaching as long as possible, even if it means I give myself an extra long weekend of grading.
My choice is to provide emotional, literary closure to my students.
My choice is to allow them time to share about their favorite books and engage in conversations about reading.
My choice is, to the best of my ability, wrap up our year together with discussions and reflections to help them grow as readers and learners.
My choice is to provide them time to think, write, collaborate, and discuss how much they've grown this year.
My choice is to allow them to feel accomplished and share their learning with others.
My choices are not approved by certain staff members.
It's disappointing that I'm not supported by fellow educators when I'm trying to make the right choices for my students.
In the end, my students are the reason I'm a teacher. I'm standing by my choices.
Monday, April 21, 2014
New Opportunities
I've been at my school for five years now and it's time for a change. We're going year-round and that's not something I wish to do. While I would appreciate the track breaks to separate the year, I don't think I'd be able to fully enjoy them. I would be constantly working on school stuff and planning units on my breaks, which isn't good for my mental health. I was a first year teacher, a first year graduate student, and on an undesired track...it wasn't pleasant. I don't wish to repeat that year-round schedule again unless I was in a specialist position.
So the time has come to branch out. As previously stated, I applied for a coaching position and was briefly devastated when that didn't pan out. I won't have the coursework to be hired provisionally as a librarian, but that dream is still on the back burner. I applied for a literacy coach almost a month ago and haven't heard back either way, which is frustrating. I applied to be a digital coach and am in the wait pool, which is better than nothing.
So I decided to look at the transfer list for my school district. I'm hoping to stick with fifth grade because I'm a little hesitant to try both a new school and a new grade level at the same time.
I looked for schools nearby my new house that were on the traditional 9 month calendar and had fifth grade openings.
Low and behold, I found one.
So I called the office manager after school. She asked me to send in my last evaluations and a resume, which I promptly did. Not twenty minutes later, I had a call from the principal to set up an interview.
I'm really excited about this opportunity!
It's right after school tomorrow, I get a tour and then the interview. I'm crossing my fingers it all works out as it's meant to!
On a very random note, the Principal's last name is coincidentally the name of the high school I attended in Arizona. Very, very strange...but perhaps a good sign?
Fingers crossed!
So the time has come to branch out. As previously stated, I applied for a coaching position and was briefly devastated when that didn't pan out. I won't have the coursework to be hired provisionally as a librarian, but that dream is still on the back burner. I applied for a literacy coach almost a month ago and haven't heard back either way, which is frustrating. I applied to be a digital coach and am in the wait pool, which is better than nothing.
So I decided to look at the transfer list for my school district. I'm hoping to stick with fifth grade because I'm a little hesitant to try both a new school and a new grade level at the same time.
I looked for schools nearby my new house that were on the traditional 9 month calendar and had fifth grade openings.
Low and behold, I found one.
So I called the office manager after school. She asked me to send in my last evaluations and a resume, which I promptly did. Not twenty minutes later, I had a call from the principal to set up an interview.
I'm really excited about this opportunity!
It's right after school tomorrow, I get a tour and then the interview. I'm crossing my fingers it all works out as it's meant to!
On a very random note, the Principal's last name is coincidentally the name of the high school I attended in Arizona. Very, very strange...but perhaps a good sign?
Fingers crossed!
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Disappointments
Last month, openings flew in my school district for a performance zone instructional coach. Last year, we had two amazing coaches who I adore (and want to be like when I grow up!). I need a change and thought coaching would be a perfect fit.
I'm well knowledgeable, approachable and a team player. I like learning from others and this job seemed to perfectly blend my interests. It'd be a lateral move, give me an opportunity to have a wider impact on student achievement and provide a new challenge.
I went to the informational meeting. I spent hours on my application and had several fellow educators, including my principal, dissect my resume. A current coach and writing instructor provided extremely helpful feedback on my essays. I submitted my application early, feeling confident that I'd get the position and get to choose which performance zone I'd work in.
I didn't even qualify for an interview.
I received that gut-wrenching email today and spent a majority of my prep period crying. This was my plan, everything was going to be perfect. I'd be an awesome coach and make such a positive difference at my school sites. I'd be just like last year's coaches, from whom I learned so much and who continue to be such amazing mentors. But, that's not how life works. The vision in my head did not come true and my plans didn't work out the way I expected.
My grade level is amazingly supportive and dropped everything they had to do to comfort me and talk about next steps. Considering our report cards are due on Monday and we have several dozen comments to write, this is huge and speaks to the amazingness of the women I'm blessed to work with.
I called the number that was provided if we had questions (which I did) and was simply told my essays didn't make the cut score on the rubric. This part truly baffled me. I could understand not being a strong candidate due to my lack of experience in primary grades or only having five years of classroom experience. But my essays, which were thoroughly proofread and thoughtful, honest and borderline inspiring? Not what I expected to be my downfall.
I don't think I was told the entire story, but that's alright. I'm not wanting to be involved in political shenanigans anyway.
After long conversations with my loved ones and my principal, I'm at peace with this, at least momentarily. I'm sure I'll be upset about it for a few more days, but it will come in waves. It wasn't meant to be.
After talking about what coaching might entail, I'm not that person. I would not be okay being in another educator's classroom, seeing a mistake being made and not being able to correct it. A teacher friend (and current coach) expressed her frustration at seeing a teacher incorrectly model decimals and tell a student that 9/100 and 0.9 were both the same correct answer.
Spoiler: 9/100 and 0.9 aren't the same amount.
She tried to ask a clarifying question to humbly point out his mathematical error, but was chastised for this. He brushed off her comment to save face in front of his class and as a result, his students have the wrong understanding of math. I would, quite frankly, have a hard time keeping my mouth shut if I was in the same situation. What happened was simply not okay.
I wouldn't be acting out of rudeness. I'd be acting in the students' best interests. It's not fair to that class to have an incorrect understanding of mathematical concepts. But apparently how I should handle the situation, as a coach, is to privately leave a note or address it with administration so that the math could be clarified and retaught correctly at a later date.
That's not how I'd roll. For that reason (and many others), I'm glad I didn't get the coaching position. Perhaps I'll try again in the future with a different department, but being a performance zone instructional coach wasn't a good fit. I'd get in too much trouble for trying to do the right thing.
So instead I started thinking about what I would like to do as an educator. I started thinking about all the different paths I could take and what truly makes me happy. I had long conversations with a friend, with my mom and with my principal, all leading to the same answer:
I'm well knowledgeable, approachable and a team player. I like learning from others and this job seemed to perfectly blend my interests. It'd be a lateral move, give me an opportunity to have a wider impact on student achievement and provide a new challenge.
I went to the informational meeting. I spent hours on my application and had several fellow educators, including my principal, dissect my resume. A current coach and writing instructor provided extremely helpful feedback on my essays. I submitted my application early, feeling confident that I'd get the position and get to choose which performance zone I'd work in.
I didn't even qualify for an interview.
I received that gut-wrenching email today and spent a majority of my prep period crying. This was my plan, everything was going to be perfect. I'd be an awesome coach and make such a positive difference at my school sites. I'd be just like last year's coaches, from whom I learned so much and who continue to be such amazing mentors. But, that's not how life works. The vision in my head did not come true and my plans didn't work out the way I expected.
My grade level is amazingly supportive and dropped everything they had to do to comfort me and talk about next steps. Considering our report cards are due on Monday and we have several dozen comments to write, this is huge and speaks to the amazingness of the women I'm blessed to work with.
I called the number that was provided if we had questions (which I did) and was simply told my essays didn't make the cut score on the rubric. This part truly baffled me. I could understand not being a strong candidate due to my lack of experience in primary grades or only having five years of classroom experience. But my essays, which were thoroughly proofread and thoughtful, honest and borderline inspiring? Not what I expected to be my downfall.
I don't think I was told the entire story, but that's alright. I'm not wanting to be involved in political shenanigans anyway.
After long conversations with my loved ones and my principal, I'm at peace with this, at least momentarily. I'm sure I'll be upset about it for a few more days, but it will come in waves. It wasn't meant to be.
After talking about what coaching might entail, I'm not that person. I would not be okay being in another educator's classroom, seeing a mistake being made and not being able to correct it. A teacher friend (and current coach) expressed her frustration at seeing a teacher incorrectly model decimals and tell a student that 9/100 and 0.9 were both the same correct answer.
Spoiler: 9/100 and 0.9 aren't the same amount.
She tried to ask a clarifying question to humbly point out his mathematical error, but was chastised for this. He brushed off her comment to save face in front of his class and as a result, his students have the wrong understanding of math. I would, quite frankly, have a hard time keeping my mouth shut if I was in the same situation. What happened was simply not okay.
I wouldn't be acting out of rudeness. I'd be acting in the students' best interests. It's not fair to that class to have an incorrect understanding of mathematical concepts. But apparently how I should handle the situation, as a coach, is to privately leave a note or address it with administration so that the math could be clarified and retaught correctly at a later date.
That's not how I'd roll. For that reason (and many others), I'm glad I didn't get the coaching position. Perhaps I'll try again in the future with a different department, but being a performance zone instructional coach wasn't a good fit. I'd get in too much trouble for trying to do the right thing.
So instead I started thinking about what I would like to do as an educator. I started thinking about all the different paths I could take and what truly makes me happy. I had long conversations with a friend, with my mom and with my principal, all leading to the same answer:
A librarian.
Small group reading is truly my favorite part of the day. Watching kids fall in love with books and get so excited about their characters warms my heart. Seeing my students so enthusiastic about their research projects this week has been wonderful. If I could talk with kids about books all day long, well...that'd simply be perfect.
So that's my new long-term career plan. I'm not sure what I'll do next year. Perhaps I'll try a new grade level (second?). Perhaps I'll stay in fifth. Perhaps there will be an opening for a digital coach or a literacy specialist. Maybe I can be hired as a librarian and given a provisional year to take the necessary course work. I'm not quite sure what the future holds, but I'm glad I didn't get what I thought I wanted. It wouldn't have worked out well.
I can't see all the pieces yet, but I know the universe is unfolding exactly as it should.
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