But...that was intentional...

It's okay to disagree with a fellow teacher.  It's okay to not want to deliver a lesson the same way as another teacher. It's okay to put your own spin on things.  Some things should be the same (the assessments, the vocabulary, the definitions), but we aren't going to teach the same way.  That's okay. I have a difficult time following instructions or lesson plans verbatim, even when I'm the one who wrote them.  Don't get me wrong, I am always meticulously prepared for my day.  I just also take advantage of teachable moments.

However, I do get a little frustrated when it seems almost every instructional decision I make is questioned.  I've got a lot of background working with special ed kiddos and with the pacing of units.  Things are sequenced intentionally to help students make connections between background knowledge and new content.  The use of manipulatives (hands-on materials) during the first few days of a unit is quite necessary.  Students, even my fifth graders, need the concrete examples to investigate a concept.  They need experience in the concrete before moving to representational and abstract understandings of content.

We are starting division on Monday.  The standards quite explicitly state do not teach the standard long division algorithm. This is not to be introduced until sixth grade because students don't have the number sense nor mathematical understanding to reason through what is occurring.  

Here it is, straight from our professional development department:

I'm not really sure how much more clear this could be, but there were still debates about what it means.  

The first few days in our math unit has a lot of investigation by the students.  I'm giving them a bunch of paper clips to sort into smaller groups.  Some problems will divide evenly, some won't.  

I want them to tackle it. I want them to struggle.  Some kids will count those 48 paper clips into the groups one at a time, driving their partners bonkers in the process.  Some will make the connection to multiples and give away larger groups.  Some will use their multiplication facts to estimate the quotient.  Some will see division as repeated subtraction while others will see it as repeated addition up to the dividend.  

That's okay.

I want my students to understand what they're doing.  I want them to make connections.  I want them to discover how division is related to the other operations and take ownership over their strategies.

My math unit is scaffolded intentionally.  The first day is exploration.  The next introduces vocabulary terms, goes over making sense of the problems (hello math practices), and has student generated strategies.  Direct instruction doesn't begin until day 3 after students have had ample time to investigate sorting and making groups with paper clips and cubes.  From there, we'll move to hundreds grids and talk about regrouping.  We'll make the connection from the physical orange flats, rods, and cubes to the paper versions and drawings, thus moving from concrete to representational. From there, we'll move into number based strategies that build upon other operations, powers of ten, place value, and multiples.  Again, scaffolded from representational drawings and grids to strictly numbers (abstract).  There's a plan.  It took hours to design, but I'm really excited about it. The plan, which spans thirteen instructional days, scaffolds so students will feel successful and anticipates common misconceptions.

However, another teacher entirely disregarded the plan...and told me about it, gleefully.  She had them try one problem with manipulatives and then gave them the algorithm.  I'm so disappointed and feel sad for her students.  I'm sad they lost the opportunity to make their own discoveries. I'm sad they lost the chance to feel ownership over the concept. I'm sad they lost the opportunity to have a meaningful struggle with the tasks.

Her justification? They'll learn it next year and she's doing the sixth grade teachers a favor.  Besides, the standard algorithm is just faster.

I'm aware it's faster.  Faster yet? Whipping out my phone and using its calculator function.  But what's the point in that?  What do they learn when they're just handed the short cut?

I'm standing my ground on this one. My goal is not to teach math.  Yes, you read that correctly.  My goal is not to teach math.

My goal is to have my students understand math.  I want them to know what they're doing, why they're doing it, what happens to their numbers, and why their problem works out mathematically.

I'm making critical thinkers and problem solvers, not robots.  I'm aware it takes more time, but this mindset also encourages stronger students and that's my ultimate end goal.

Thankful?

I'm having a bit of a rough time finding positive things.  We are under a lot of pressure at work from a lot of different angles.  Granted, it's no where near the tear-inducing chaos of last year, but still.

We are under pressure to perform well on Reading Rangers.  My students are reading independently and quiz frequently.  However, there's a few boys that aren't following my expectations and do poorly.  They are lower readers and need to read books several times.  They need to conference with a peer about the book.  However, they'll sneak out to the pod or sneak an iPad to quiz and often score 60% or 80%, which brings down our class average.  I am then talked to about why I'm doing so poorly and it's really not fair.  I've had a few times I've been called out for the lowest scores and while some find it motivating, I'm mortified.

I don't like coming in last and I certainly don't like that publicly announced.

My students have between 45 and 60 minutes a day of silent independent reading time with our Reading Rangers program.  During that time I'm pulling small groups or individual conferences, they are writing about what they're reading, conferencing with a peer, taking an AR test, or silently reading.

Other teachers will sometimes skip other subject areas to allow for extra reading time to inflate their scores.  I'm not sorry that I refuse to skip math, writing, or whole group reading to give them silent reading time.  They need instruction in all subjects.

We've started some new positive reinforcements and it's helped.  We are in a race to 100 100%s with another class and it's quite motivating for them.  I also started using classroom dojo to reward them whenever they score 90%, 100%, or complete a badge.  They are quite excited about that.

We're all overwhelmed at work and it's showing.  The amount of effort and care I put into my portion of planning is not necessarily being matched by others and that's difficult.  Things aren't getting done in a timely manner.  There's been some miscommunication and that's difficult.

I think we're all just ready for a break and luckily, Thanksgiving is right around the corner.  I am thankful for that!

Thankful

Last year, I struggled as a teacher for a number of reasons.  In a nutshell, I didn't feel supported at my job. I didn't like teaching and there were many, many moments I simply wanted to quit. Crying was a frequent thing and I didn't feel my instructional decisions were approved. 

My end of year data was amazing because my students made awesome growth.  But there was no acknowledgment of that.

So I made a change. I switched to a school that's about eight minutes away from my new house and a later start time. 

The school climate is so much better and for that I'm thankful.

Am I having some struggles adjusting? Yes, of course.

I'm not inclusion anymore, so it's weird not co-teaching. I don't have anyone pop into my room anymore, unless it's to watch her class to solve the mystery of why the kinders were gone for ten minutes. (They were having a party in the bathroom, obviously.  That two minutes of watching the rest of her kinders was enough to convince me I never want to teach the little ones.  Bless her heart though, and those who are brave enough for the littlest ones.)

I"m struggling to adjust to new procedures.  My last school was nearly 100% free and reduced lunch and this one isn't.  I have to remember to ask for lunch money every morning and make sure lunch cards get passed out.  Luckily I delegated this task to students!

I'm struggling with cutting writing short to make sure we have time to fill out our agendas together. I'm struggling to figure out how to track homework, since it's not for a grade.  I haven't quite figured out how I want to keep track. 

I'm struggling with pacing. Math and whole group reading are both running a little long because of different reasons.  My students have some gaps in their number sense, so we're trying to fill those gaps by using hands-on manipulatives and scaffolding lessons.  This takes time away from the fifth grade standards.  However, I think we're seeing results.  There's a lot more discourse in the lessons and their exit tickets are improving.  I can't wait to see how they do on next week's math test!

In reading, I'm struggling because I'm trying to teach too much. I know I am. I want to do phonics and fluency (which are happening during RTI time) as well as our lesson. I also want to do a read aloud.  I would love if there was just a little more time in the day!

However, all of these struggles pale in comparison to last year.  These struggles are a learning curve and I know that. I just need to be patient with myself because this is a new school with new expectations. I have to allow myself time to adjust and be okay with making some mistakes.

I just love that my administration and grade level are so supportive.

Character Analysis

In whole group reading, we've been working on comparing and contrasting characters.  In fifth grade, the expectation is to go much deeper then "one is a boy and one is a girl" responses. 

We've looked at how characters in the same text respond similarly and differently to the same event using Seed Folks as mentor text.

We've looked at how characters from different novels respond similarly and differently to a similar event using Tiger Rising, Because of Winn Dixie and Sarah, Plain and Tall as mentor texts with Rob, Opal and Anne.

We've moved on to looking at Matt and Attean in Sign of the Beaver and how they interact differently with the environment.

As you can see, I broke the reading into three sections.  I modeled the first day, reading the passage aloud and sharing my thinking (metacognition).

They worked with a partner or in a small group of three on part two and on Monday, they'll do part three independently.  They read the passage, take notes since they're "reading with a pencil" and then discuss their ideas.

They're taking notes in the graphic organizer we made in our whole group notebooks:

 While they work, not only are they building their stamina (since testing is a few months away) but I get to see how well they're doing with annotating (stop and jot) as well as analyzing the text. 

 It's a great way to do a quick informal assessment, I just walk around and make notes on a post-it.  I can also do a quick intervention if needed.

Some of them will struggle with this independent task and as I've said before, this productive struggle is perfectly okay.

I'm impressed with how well they're doing!

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days

I had a rough day.  I'd go as far as saying it was a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day and like Alexander, I was ready to pout.  Nothing was going right.  As a teacher, it's kind of expected to always have a happy face but teaching is hard.  Some days, it's really, really hard.  

Granted, teacher problems were slightly more complex than not getting the right shoes, but I get Alexander's frustration too.  I was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Scratch that, I had five of them in a row.  It was rough week.  There wasn't a day I worked less than 12 hours.  

As an educator, it happens. 

I'm just relieved it's over and I'm in the midst of a relaxing (and reflective) 3 day weekend.

 I got a new student at the last minute.  The stress of preparing for a new kiddo is rough.  Our district has the policy that a student sits the day he or she is enrolled.  In theory, that's wonderful for the student so they don't miss out on another day of learning.

But for a teacher, it's a tad stressful.  I didn't have much notice to find a desk, chair, notebooks, various other supplies and label the necessary classroom items (desk, behavior tracker, file, whiteboard marker, etc) for him.  I knew we had to quickly do a formative diagnostic assessment to figure out which reading room he'd be in, then the opposite period for math, find out if he was in the RTI process or already had an IEP because that also determined which room to place him in depending on the levels of instructional support.  I must say, it's lots of thinking for so early in the morning!  He wasn't the only new student we got this week either.  

I wanted him to feel welcome in my classroom the moment he sat, and that meant some scrambling on my behalf because there was about twenty minutes notice.  But he had a great first day, a great first week and was always smiling.  He's happy to be here, knew about number talks and phonics (score!) and I'm glad he's here.  Sometimes I wish I had a tiny bit more time to prepare for new students' arrival.

I'm in the process of DRA'ing my students in small groups and well, it's time consuming and there's a lot of them.  I know it's useful information and I cut out phonics this week to make extra time for it, but I didn't finish and have to continue testing into next week.  Part of this is my fault because I was unwilling to go a week without meeting with my students to discuss their novels. More importantly, they were unwilling to go a week without meeting.  I'm not kidding when I say there would be lots of pouting, some tears and borderline rebellion (district 13 style) if I told them that sorry, we'll have to wait until next week to talk about The Miserable Mill, the Austere Academy, Hatchet, Harry Potter (1 and 2), Mockingjay, Brian's Winter, Number the Stars, Gossamer, Maniac Magee and Tiger Rising. They become slightly hostile if they aren't given the chance to talk about what happened in their books.  This is a wonderful problem to have and as an educator, I wasn't going to fully cut this opportunity for them to replace it with assessments.  I compromised and shortened our meetings, allowing them to finish without me in the hallway and DRA'd in between.  I didn't finish their assessments, but I also got to see that most of my groups could handle having their own lit circle...which was great.

Battle of the books also started this week and because it was so fun on Wednesday, I had about eight more kids sign up after the deadline.  Of course I accepted them with open arms because they want to read and well, that's awesome.  

I had to turn away one student because his frequent behavior problems are interfering with others' ability to learn. That wouldn't be fair to the students who are trying to work and read in our book club.  I've had several conferences with this student's family and this student is frequently off task and argumentative in my room, so the student didn't earn the privilege of book club.  I talked with my admin and fellow teachers, who were all in support of the decision.  However, it was a very heartbreaking conversation to have.  

We sat in the hallway and talked about all the choices that were made and how these choices took away from learning time.  We talked about all the second chances that had been given and how behavior hadn't changed.  In life, we don't always get unlimited second chances and there are consequences to our actions.  Sometimes, we don't like these consequences and that's a tough lesson to learn.  I also knew that he would have been a disruption every week and that's not fair to the forty students who are so excited to sit and read.  I also knew it wasn't fair for me, who is volunteering to run this club to deal with additional behavior issues with a student who has had several dozen second chances.  

There were tears and that's hard for a teacher.  I made him cry and I couldn't do anything to fix it.  There have to be consequences, even if it's unpleasant.

My mentee is having a rough time with some students and we had a nice long chat about strategies.  She feels better, which is great.  I just wish I could observe her more.  My prep falls during her whole group reading block so that's the only subject I've been able to see her teach.  I wish I could see more.

There's some inconsistencies at our school and it's very bothersome.  I'm not one to slack off and make things up, so it's very frustrating for me to see others doing so.  It's very irksome to see such blatant favoritism.

Take these factors, add in a four hour class, twelve more issues, a few parent teacher conferences, shouting in the hallway (not me, two students), lots of tears and a lot of sleepless nights...and there's my week.  I'm glad it's over.

But I also know I have the amazing opportunity to work with my grade level, which is filled with such dedicated teachers.  I learn from these women daily and know they're also making their decisions based on what's best for students.  Think of a pack of lion mamas and that's our fifth grade team :)

While collectively, they drive me slightly crazy with their talking (which is out of excitement), I do adore these fifth graders.  I love at the end of the day when we fist bump on their way out and they tell me their "click" of the day.  Their click is what is "staying with them" and made sense to them.  Naturally, I pretend frown when they tell me it's a subject I don't teach or recess, but it's great to have them reflect on their learning and share it with me.

I also am appreciative of the support I have from other educators.  My admin made the time out of her very busy schedule to talk through an issue I'd had.  Through our conversation, the missing pieces of information were filled in and now I understand why the decisions were made. lt was a difficult conversation for me to bring up, sharing that I was frustrated with an outcome but through discussion, we both filled in each other's gaps and now the situation makes sense.  

We also had one of our old academic coaches on campus this week and well, she's amazing.  We talked through my structure of small groups and looked at the questions I was asking of my students when they read their novels.  I'm doing everything right, which was nice to hear.  The same amazing coach sent me inspirational texts throughout the week because she knew I was having a rough time.  

She also works at her parents' restaurant which has amazing Italian food.  She suggested I come in on Friday night because in her words, I deserved garlic knots, pasta and cannolis.  It didn't take much arm twisting to convince my boyfriend that we needed date night since he had a rough week too and well, who doesn't love pasta?  We had a wonderful relaxing meal which almost made up for the rough week.  Then I found this note when I got home attached to our left overs:

It made me cry. She's the best.  My grade level is the best.  My students are such hard workers (most of the time) and my family and boyfriend are supportive through my tears and sometimes colorful language. One awesome friend stopped in to work to borrow something and ended up bringing me dinner since I didn't have time to run out and get food before my class.  I'm thankful to not be in this alone. I'm thankful to be an educator, even though it's not always an easy road.  There will be rough days.  There will be terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days.  But some days are like that...

...even in Australia. 


(If you haven't read Judith Viorst's Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day stop what you're doing and go read it immediately.  This blog post and it's images will probably make a lot more sense after!)

Purposely Vague

I recently attended a math training and while it wasn't earth-shattering revelations, I did enjoy this snippet:

Be purposefully vague.

That's right, be vague in your questioning.  Let them struggle.  Let them make meaning of the problem.  Let them talk it out and try multiple strategies.  Let them persevere.  Let them come up with several answers and justify them to one another.  Let them express their thinking and critique others.  But again, most importantly:

Let them struggle.

It's productive, I promise.  They need to struggle.  It's not helpful to let them get all the answers right away. It's not helpful to spoon feed them the answers.  Not everything in life comes easily and they need to understand struggle so that when they work through the problems, they are that much more excited about their success.  Not every problem is given with the purpose of finding the one correct answer, but rather an emphasis should be placed on the problem solving strategies and critical thinking that lead to the answer(s).  Give meaningful, complex problems that are based on real world situations.  Don't provide problems where the solutions can be easily googled.  Let them struggle.  They'll be better students if they learn to persevere through problems and work on their critical thinking skills.  Provide the necessary scaffolds, yes, but not the answers right away.  Ask them questions rather than give them answers.  Challenge them. Encourage them. Inspire them.

Be vague.  Let them struggle. Let them do the thinking.